13 Years Later, Back to Europe!

I spent two weeks of February in Europe, and it was awesome.

I split the trip between the Netherlands and Ireland, and it was my first time in both countries.  During that time I was able to meet up with friends in different places in each country, which made it that much better.

To give some background, I spent a year as an exchange student in Germany from 2000 to 2001.  I made some lifelong friends, got to travel to a lot of European countries, and my time there was what sparked my wanderlust.  In college I spent a semester in Granada, Spain and then spent the summer of 2004 in Germany, and that was an equally great experience.  I also took two trips to Mexico after finishing grad school and the year after that, going off the beaten path for most of the time in Mexico City, Tepoztlan, Oaxaca, Guadalajara, and Puerto Vallarta.

I have wanted to go back to Europe for years, but huge student loans, just starting a career in teaching, and a fragile economy did not make for expensive trips far from the States.  Now that my student loans are paid off and my finances are in better condition, however, I feel in a much better position to follow my passion for travel once again.

This year I've told myself that I'm going to go outside of my technological comfort zone, and so I've made a photo story of my trip.  It's really cool because it scrolls through my photos, has captions and text, and even has music to go with it.  I wanted to share it on here, but it turns out you can only share it on the computer your created it on or by email.

So here are the pictures and details in 4 parts:

Part 1: A Layover, An Ice Bar, and a Bike Tour

I flew with a low cost airline called WOW Air.  After the add ons (paying for my seat, checking a bag, etc) my ticket came to $580 round trip from Newark to Amsterdam with a layover in Reykjavik.  I left Newark at 5:35 PM and arrived in Reykjavik around 3:00 the following morning.  I had an hour and a half layover, which was enough time to wander around the airport in a daze but not enough time to wait in the long lines or sit down for a proper breakfast.  I settled on a yogurt and blt sandwich for breakfast before boarding my flight.

tired travel selfie

I arrived in Amsterdam safe and sound later that morning.  I got checked into my hostel and after crashing for a few hours went out exploring.  I didn't stray too far from where I was staying, but opted to walk around, explore, and get a sense of the things to see and do while I was there.  (I arrived on a Wednesday during the early afternoon and was there until Friday afternoon.)  After booking some tours I got some food and hung out at the hostel for a bit before crashing.

The next day was my birthday.  I didn't want to make a big deal about it, and it was mostly a day of exploring the city on foot and then going to Amsterdam's Ice Bar.  It's a bit touristy, but I felt like I couldn't pass up the chance to visit a bar completely encased in ice.  I needed to make an appointment to go in, so with ticket in hand I walked in at 5:00 PM.  The entrance ticket gives you 2 free shots from shot glasses made of ice as well as a drink at the traditional bar attached to the ice bar.  There were different flavored types of vodka, and I opted for whipped cream flavor for mine.  After taking some photos and taking advantage of a free drink at the regular bar I headed out.

That night I saw one of the guys that was in my room the night before, and we got to talking.  I told him it was my birthday, and we went down to the hostel's bar and talked about life over drinks for about 3 hours.  It wasn't a typical birthday, but I enjoyed it.

Friday was a bike tour of Amsterdam.  The weather was unseasonably warm, and at about 50 degrees I got away with wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants.   I never really learned much about Dutch history (besides the standard things you learn about when they settled in the States), so hearing how they were business people and learning about the history of Amsterdam and how the canals affected the city over the years was really interesting.  On part of the tour we stopped at what's supposed to be the oldest bar in the city which is still run by the same family that started it.

After the tour I hopped on the train and was on to the next leg of my adventure: Eindhoven!

obligatory train selfie

Part 2: Magic, Videogames, and Catching Up

What was waiting for me in Eindhoven you may ask?  That would be one of my close friends, Rudolf!  (No, he doesn't have a red nose, and he's not a reindeer!  Admit that you were thinking that right when you read that name!)

We became friends in Chile, but he has since moved back to the Netherlands.  The weekend included playing Magic: The Gathering, Wii U, eating New York Pizza as a pitiful substitute for Papa John's Pizza, walking around the town, and seeing the Phillips Museum.

Rudolf and I are both gamers, and it felt great to reconnect with our hobby.  A new set of Magic had come out, so it was cool trying out the new cards together.  Rudolf took me to a hipsterish indoor market that had things for sale as well as places to eat.  I had currywurst for the first time in 13 years and tried a Dutch food called Stampotten, which is a combination of potatoes and vegetables that are mashed together.  We also went into the shopping area of Eindhoven, and we visited the Phillips Museum.  Rudolf works for Phillips, so he was very proud to show me all the technological innovations that have occurred since the company was founded.  Now they're really working to develop medical equipment for MRIs and such.

I think the best part, however, was the homemade chocolate croissants he made for breakfast one morning.  

Even though it was just one weekend, it felt so great to spend time together and to get to visit a close friend in his home country.

Part 3: Dublin, Touristy Stuff, and More Social Encounters

After saying goodbye to the Netherlands for a bit, I made my way to Ireland.

I arrived in Dublin, and I had time to get my bearings during the day.  It's a nice city because you can get around to most places on foot.  I really liked how friendly people were and how easy it was to get around.  Unfortunately higher prices come with that, so I tried to be a bit frugal when possible.  In the evening I met up with Martin, and we caught up on what has happened since he left Chile a few years ago.  It was great seeing him and hearing him talk about the history of the country.  Prior to then, I had no idea how big of a history buff he is.

The following day I took a walking tour for a bit and then headed out to Limerick, which is close to the west coast of Ireland.  I stayed with Heather and Terry who are living there.  We became friends when working at the same institute in Santiago back in 2011 or so, and we've stayed in contact since then.  I enjoyed catching up, getting to know their 3 cats, and playing board games together.

I booked a tour to the Cliffs of Moher for one of the days I was there, and it was amazing.  They're out on the west coast of Ireland, and the beauty of the water crashing against the cliffs is breathtaking.  The tour gave us 2 hours to walk along the coast.  Heather had warned me about the wind, and it was really strong and biting.  I wore my long johns and had a hat and scarf, but even with that I only stayed outside for about 40 minutes of that time.  There was a small museum, gift shop, and cafe inside, so there was still plenty to do.  

After being in Limerick for a few days, I made my way back to Dublin.  There I caught up with Amanda, another friend and former coworker that I met in Santiago as well as some former students that are studying in Dublin.  I'm not much of a drinker and didn't think I'd like the pub scene in Dublin, but it was actually really nice.  Maintaining social connections is such an important part of staying happy, and seeing that happening with the pubs in Dublin was a very positive part of the culture there.

In addition to catching up, I visited Trinity University and had breakfast at The Buttery (their on campus eatery with great food and very reasonable prices) and took a tour to Powerscourt Gardens and one of the national parks.  Being out in nature was really nice, and the amount of green there was never-ending.

Part 4: Windmills, Clogs, Cheese, and More

My flight from Dublin to Amsterdam was delayed, and I consequently arrived at about 5 PM instead of 3 PM.  By the time I got check into my hostel the day was shot.  It had snowed earlier in the day, and so I got a taste of what winter is more typically like in Amsterdam.  I got something to eat but was too tired to do much else except book a tour for the following day.

I was up bright and early the following morning to take a tour of the countryside.  We started out by visiting some windmills along the coast.  It was really picturesque, and going inside a windmill was really cool too.  I don't remember learning much about how windmills work or how important they were to world economies throughout history when I was in school, but it was so interesting to see how they used them to cut wood, pulverize flour, and do other things.  It never crossed my mind that windmills could be rotated 360 degrees and that the flaps could be attached or detached as needed based on the wind.

The next part of the tour took us to a shop that makes and sells clogs.  A woman in typical dress showed us the process of how they are made, and afterwards we had time to kill in the shop and were encouraged to buy souvenirs.  After that, we took a ferry that then took us to a cheese factory.  They showed us how round wheels of cheese are made, and we got to taste some of them.  It was interesting to see the different types and ages of the cheeses.

After a lunch break, we then went to a famous bakery that makes stroopwaffles.  A woman gave a demonstration and showed how the two cookies are made and attached with caramel in the middle.  Apparently there was a married couple with 9 children that lived in the 1800s.  The husband was a fisher, but he died in an accident one day.  The widow was left with 9 children to take care of.  She tried baking bread to sell, but there were plenty of bakeries that already did that in the area.  She then began experimenting with cookies, and she invented the stroopwaffle.  The demonstration occurred in her basement, and they had the original tools that she used on display.  The main floor is now the store/bakery, and it was interesting to see how a woman's entrepreneurial spirit and desire to care for her children had such an impact on Dutch history.

After getting back to Amsterdam, I then hopped on the train to meet up with a friend in Utrecht.  Ty and I met when we were exchange students in Germany in 2000, and since then we've managed to maintain our friendship despite the distance between us.  I believe we've only met up 3 times since then, with the last time being in 2009 in Venice Beach.    His life in Europe and mine in Chile have made catching up in person difficult, but not impossible.   It was great talking about life and catching up, and living outside of the United States we have both encountered a lot of the same challenges despite the differences between Europe and South America.  

By the time I got to my last day in Amsterdam, I was pretty tired of being a tourist.  I dragged myself out to go to the Rijksmuseum, a huge museum that documents a lot of famous Dutch art and history.  The sheer amount of things there was overwhelming (think the L'ouvre in Paris), and after about an hour and a half I was already overloaded with beautiful art, facts, and historical objects.

I do have one huge regret with this trip.  I put off finding information about going to the Anne Frank House.  I naively thought I would be able to just show up and get in, but it turns out that it's recommended to get tickets online a few weeks in advance.  You can only get in from 9 to 3:30 with an online reservation, and then after that you have to wait in line.  By the time I had gotten there, I would have needed to wait in line for a few hours.  While that is nothing compared to the atrocities that happened during the Holocaust, I was a worn out traveler that doesn't tolerate cold weather much more than he has to.  I've resolved that it will be at the top of my to do list for my next trip back.

The trip ended up being more expensive than I was anticipating, and it touched on my anxiety about spending money and getting into debt.  I then have to remind myself that sometimes travel is going to be a bit expensive once you add in transportation and eating out, but ultimately I'd rather have a passport full of stamps and a life full of memories rather than a house full of stuff.

I'm returning to Chile feeling renewed (in Chile they would say con las pilas cargadas, with your batteries recharged) and grateful for the time I had in Europe and back in New Jersey.
I hope everyone else has a great start to the year back in Chile or a wonderful start to 
spring/fall wherever in the world you're reading this from.

Starting the Year Off Right

I'm feeling good about the start of 2017.

Research shows that one of the keys to happiness is social connections, and I've been keeping pretty busy over the past few weeks.

A friend of mine was visiting Chile with his family and had a day at the end of their trip in Santiago, so we met up.  We walked up Cerro San Cristobal, and it was interesting talking with them about our experiences traveling and living abroad.  I made it to the top, but it showed me how I've slowed down and gotten out of shape over the past few years.  It was New Years Day, and so it was a nice start to the year.

I also met up with some friends that were back in Chile for a visit.  They're now married and have a son, and it was great catching up and talking about what has happened in the past 3 years.  We both came to Chile with TeachingChile, so it's amazing to think about how our lives have changed since then.

Another friend of mine has been really patient and helpful getting the games and data from my Wii transferred over to my Wii U.  If you're doing so in Chile, it requires the use of two transformers since you must have both systems on at the same time.  Rodrigo brought his transformer over, and the first time we tried to do the transfer it didn't work with my SD card.  The second time was much better, and it took some time but was worth it.  It gave us time to talk about life and to get to know each other a bit better.

I'm not usually the type to go out for drinks at night, but some friends of mine (actually former students from 2012) wanted to meet and catch up.  We met in Bellavista.  For those of you that aren't familiar with it, it's the area where people go to drink and dance.  It's run down and a bit dodgy, and I typically don't like going there.  But it was worth it.  Talking about what's been going on in our lives since we had last seen each other (probably a year or so ago) was really nice, and we also talked about the other students in the class and reminisced about the fun we had then.  It's cool hearing about their careers progressing and them buying apartments and improving their lives.  Even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, it's always nice when we do get to catch up.

Then this past weekend I visited a friend down in Concepción.  His cousin was staying with him, and it was interesting getting to know him.  We went out for dinner on Friday night, and then I taught them how to play Settlers of Catan.  On Saturday we went to the beach, and it was really relaxing.  That night we played two more games of Catan, but this time with another cousin joining us.  Even with all three of them teaming up against me I still remained victorious.  We ended up playing until 3:00 in the morning.

Here are some pictures from the beach trip:

I don't think this photo does justice to show how white my feet were.

I almost stepped on him!

Climbing up on the rocks

Almost to the top!

I made it!

Selfie!  It was so windy up there that I made my way
back right after snapping this.

Staying socially engaged over these past few weeks and the quiet time at the beach has helped me make some realizations.

I don't like the atmosphere of Bellavista too much, but I have let negativity and fear of getting robbed prevent me from going there.  The likelihood of that actually happening is pretty low, especially if I'm walking with my friends and stay alert.  In the end going there was fine.

The other realization came when I was at the beach.  There were some huge rocks along the beach that you could climb up on, and it looked like the perfect opportunity to take some beautiful pictures.  My thoughts immediately went to the possibility of slipping and falling and breaking a bone and going to the emergency room.  At that moment I thought, "What has happened to me?"  I had gone from being adventurous and risk-taking to being worried and afraid of the worst case scenario.

I decided I wasn't going to let that fear keep me from getting some nice photos.  As I walked over to the rocks, I took a deep breath and started climbing up.  "One foot at a time, watch out for the moss because it's slippery", I told myself.  Slowly but surely I made it to the highest area, and damn was it windy.  Even though I wasn't that high up off the ground, the wind was strong and was making me feel a bit off balance.  I took some photos and snapped a few selfies before carefully making my way back.

This is a great start to the year, and I'm looking forward to continuing to engage socially.  In the past I've let the rejection from friendships not working out affect me a bit too much, but at the same time it has been a valuable learning experience.  

Despite a less than ideal political situation back in the States that has me worried for the well-being of friends that are minorities and vulnerable to new policies that may be enacted as well as a rise in hate crimes, I'm choosing to remain optimistic and speak out in the face of injustice.  I know that last part is easier said than done, but here's to giving it a try.

Reflections on 2016

It's New Year's Eve, and I'm relaxing in my apartment.

Outside I hear pounding music from a celebration, most likely from one of the bars across the street.  The are lights on and people talking on the balcony of the apartment building that is now across the street from mine, and some of them still have Christmas lights hanging up.  (Note to self- I should get around to installing curtains sometime in 2017).

It's been so long that I don't quite know where to start with this post.  

What are the highlights of the year?

Paying off my student loans is a huge one.  Having had them hanging over me with every paycheck I got (or didn't get at times) and each financial decision was a huge weight on my shoulders, and I'm glad that it's one that is gone.  I managed to pay them off in 10 years, saving huge amounts of money in what would have been thousands of dollars in interest.

The trip with my dad to Universal Studios in February was great.  He gets to travel a lot with other members of the family, so finding a place he'd like to travel to can be a challenge.  I noticed that they had an area of the park devoted to The Simpsons and he's also a Harry Potter fan.  Logistically it took some planning since I was coming up from Miami and he was flying in from Philadelphia, but it worked out fine.  My dad has always been there for me no matter what, and being able to take a trip with him and pay for his ticket was a way for me to show my appreciation for all he's done helping me grow up and his unwavering support as I follow my dreams.

This year I joined a business networking alliance, and it has been a great experience.  Talking with other business owners has helped me to continue adding value to my classes.  Monthly meetings were great to get to know other people in my shoes, and I think they won't all just be business connections but also friendships.

In November, I took a trip back to Jersey for a friend's wedding and also celebrated another wedding in Chile. They were both beautiful events, and I felt so happy to be included in their lives.  Besides the wedding in New Jersey, I also went to a concert with a friend and enjoyed time catching up with my dad and other friends.  It was so nice feeling appreciated and that people were genuinely happy to see me, and it also reaffirmed my choices of who I keep in my life.

There were other highlights, albeit less important: going to a Coldplay concert unexpectedly was an important reminder to stay open to new experiences, and catching up with friends in Lima and Concepción for a weekend helped me realize how important travel is to me, the values that we share, and how much I value my friendship with them.  Regular meetings to play Setters of Catan with friends have been a lot of fun and also a bonding experience.  Presenting at IATEFL Chile was a great experience.  Two of my friends gave TED talks this year, and I was fortunate to have been there for one of them.  They are both great people that are doing amazing things, and they have been an inspiration to keep growing and chasing after my dreams and goals.

What are the downs from this year?

Death has taken some people far too early in their lives.  A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer, another friend lost her son to health complications, and another friend lost her mother due to heart problems.  None of these people got to live life to their full potential, and while I had never met these three people in person, from what I've heard of them they were great people that still had a lot more to do on this earth.  I have been left with feelings of sadness and not exactly knowing what to do to help my friends recover from their losses.

Some opportunities that I had to develop professionally didn't work out the way I had hoped.  A company I was teaching classes to directly decided overnight to stop, leaving me with huge spaces in my schedule after they had committed to taking classes for the entire year.  I took them for their word and didn't draw up a formal contract to hold them to, so it took some time to recover financially.  Other classes didn't follow through with their commitment which is disappointing, but sometimes happens.

Developing social connections isn't always easy.  I've put myself out there trying to get to know people and develop friendships, and a few times this year I've fallen flat on my face with failure.  It has hurt and made me feel stupid for trying, but at least I took the chance rather than not knowing.

I also tried living this year according to other people's standards.  I've felt guilty for spending money traveling (despite it being something that makes me happy) and have doubted the correctness of the lifestyle I've chosen.  This doubt has made me spiral downward into the patterns of sleeping excessively, eating unhealthily, and watching TV to escape the reality of my feelings.  The amount of lost time and potential is disappointing looking back.  Over time I've realized that I should just live life according to my standards and not worry about keeping others happy.  Sometimes I need that reminder.

What are my lessons from this year?

I've learned to say "no" to things that no longer serve me or aren't for my highest food.  Not everyone is going to like me in life, and lots of distractions are going to come along to complete for my attention and time.  I've started learning to focus my time and energy on what's important.

I've become better at trusting my instinct.  Sometimes I've felt an intuition that someone or something wasn't quite right, and I've gone with it.  It's hard to say if it has been right or not 100% of the time, but I've  seen it work out right in a few instances.

I've learned to look for those (healthy) things that are going to stay constant in my life.  I know that every Wednesday I can listen to Gretchen Rubin's podcast Happier, from which I will most likely pick up a nugget of wisdom.  I know that I have guided meditations I can listen to as well as healthy food that is easy to make that isn't far from where I live.

I think my biggest lesson is that I'm learning to stay true to myself.  I've started speaking up to express my opinion, even if it's not popular.  I've had conversations with people expressing a viewpoint that has clashed with theirs, and being able to hold my emotions in check but express myself clearly has been a bit accomplishment.  I've learned that sometimes it's best to let go of friendships and relationships that are no longer healthy or positive.  Despite that, it's still great to see the beauty that there was in a friendship and the positives that occurred over a period of time.

So, what does 2017 have in store?

Spending time with friends and strengthening my social connections.  Numerous studies show that social connections are a key component to a happy and healthy life.

Figuring out how I can keep developing personally and professionally.  (Maybe I should get around to reading the numerous books I've acquired over the past few years that are collecting dust or are untouched on my tablet)

A trip to Europe, partially in celebration of paying off my student loans and partially as a way to rekindle my desire to travel.

A Linkin Park concert in Santiago in May.  This will be their second time in Chile and my second time seeing them here.

Cultivating healthy habits and staying true to myself, the values, and the standards that I choose to live by.

Wherever you're reading this from, I hope that you have a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2017!

Resparking My Sense of Adventure

For those of you that know me or have been following my blog, you know that I have been in Chile for over six and a half years now.  In that period of time, it has been easy to fall into patterns and habits and not really try things that are new or different.

Well, I had a reminder about how long I've been here as well as some inspiration from a podcast I listen to.

The first thing that happened was that my BIP card has stopped working.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with the public transportation system in Santiago, you load money onto a plastic card the size of a credit card.  When you get on the bus or subway, you hold it up to an electronic sensor, and it automatically deducts the cost of the trip from your balance on the card. Given the name, it's no surprise that the reader produces a loud pitched beep after scanning your card.

I've had my BIP card since the day I came to Chile.  It was given to me as a part of my welcome packet with TeachingChile, and I had never had any other card until that point.  As the woman told me that it was no longer working to reload it with money, it made me think about all of the travelling I'd done all over the city with the card.  I bought a new one but  have saved the old one as a momento.

That made me think about how I'd lost my sense of adventure this year.  I'm not talking about the travel to another part of Chile or another country and see amazing sights kind of adventure.  I'm talking about being spontaneous, exploring new parts of the city, and taking the time to just do something different from my routine kind of adventure.

This made me think back to a podcast that I had heard the week before.  In her podcast called Happier, Gretchen Rubin spoke about going on an errand date as a way of having an enjoyable afternoon and evening, and she told the story of running mundane errands with her husband but taking their time and then deciding to stop and get drinks at a nice bar they had often passed by before but never visited.  It turned out to be a really nice afternoon for them, and it made the errands that much more enjoyable.

Lo and behold I'm single, but I needed to run some errands and had the afternoon free.  I decided I was going to make it an enjoyable experience and not rush myself as I usually do.  

Before even starting anything I stopped and got a strawberry smoothie.  The weather was warmer that usual today in Santiago, and it put me in a good mood to get started with the errands.   After going to get the details to mail a package, I then went to the bus station to check out prices on tickets for a trip I was planning.  On my way there, I found the packing materials I needed for my package, and then I decided to walk to my next errand instead of catching the bus or subway.  As I walked along, I stopped in some shops looking at bags that I could use to get back to the gym.

As I took the bus home, I decided I wanted to give myself a spontaneous treat.  I called up a Peruvian restaurant near my apartment that prepares meals for pickup, but they weren't open that day.  I then remembered that a former student of mine told me about another Peruvian restaurant near my apartment, so I decided to check it out.  6:30 is early for dinner in Chile and it was empty, but the food and service was great.  I left with a full stomach.

Aji de gallina, my favorite Peruvian dish.
It's chicken in a yellow pepper sauce.

As I walked back to my apartment, I passed by a small music school.  In high school and college I played the bass, and they advertised that they offered lessons.  I went inside to check it out.  They didn't have any basses to rent, but they suggested a business not too far away that probably did.  I explained how I used to play, but I was concerned with storing a bass in my one bedroom apartment when I came to a realization.  I had always wanted to pick up the viola, and it looks like this is the perfect opportunity for me.  The price for classes fits into my budget, and now I'm just waiting to see if the professor and my schedule coincide for classes.

Since then I've also gotten back to the gym.  I've gained about 20 kilos in the past few years, and I've finally prepared myself mentally to start the adventure of getting back in shape.  The gym is high tech (Each piece of equipment has a button which you can press, and there are trainers wearing smart watches.  When you press the button, it signals for them to go to you and help you with whatever you need.) and has an upscale feel to it, and I really like it.  On my first visit I was given a routine, and it's easy to follow.  Next month they will review it with me and give me a new one.

In past experiences at the gym, I became turned off by it not being open at the hours it was supposed to, rude and incompetent staff, and other factors.  Rather than approaching my return to the gym on the lookout for things to go wrong, I'm telling myself that it's going to be a positive experience and remind myself of the excellent personal trainer I had back in California and how I was able to manage a gym routine and how I was in great shape then.

I've been to the gym twice since I joined 3 days ago.  In the words of Linkin Park from the song Waiting for the End, "The hardest part of ending is starting again."

A long overdue update

I've had a long absence from my blog.

It would be easy to make up excuses or avoid the elephant in the room of what has been happening, but I don't think that's the best thing to do.

I've been struggling with depression.

Talking about it isn't easy, as it's a personal struggle.  Opening up to people is hard for me and leaves me vulnerable and open to judgement and criticism from others. 

Before you read any further, form any opinions about me, or have a a desire to offer any advice, I'm going to provide a list of statements that aren't helpful:

1. "You just have to snap out of it." (usually said with a tone of condescension)

2. "It's all in your head." (How is that supposed to make a person feel better?)

3. "Well, my situation was worse........" (One upping doesn't make a person dealing with a rough time feel any better.)

4. "You should...." (I didn't ask for advice.  I'm trying to open up and would really appreciate you listening and acknowledging my reality.)

A few days ago, I came across a post on Facebook that really resonated with me.  It's the story of a woman who wanted to prepare her daughter for middle school.

“I gave her a tube of toothpaste and asked her to squirt it out onto a plate. When she finished, I calmly asked her to put all the toothpaste back in the tube,” Gardner explains. Of course, her daughter looked at her like it was an impossible task, because it is. Her daughter began to say things like But I can’t! and It won’t be like before!

That’s when mom dropped some serious knowledge, with some words her daughter will probably never forget:

“You will remember this plate of toothpaste for the rest of your life. Your words have the power of life or death. As you go into middle school, you are about to see just how much weight your words carry. You are going to have the opportunity to use your words to hurt, demean, slander and wound others. You are also going to have the opportunity to use your words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. You will occasionally make the wrong choice; I can think of three times this week I have used my own words carelessly and caused harm. Just like this toothpaste, once the words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back.”

Some of the things I've heard from people close to me in the past year have really affected me.  Hurtful comments and hard to stomach truths have shattered my self esteem and self worth into a million little pieces, and I've been working to pick up them up one by one and glue them back together again.  I had fallen into a pattern of eating comfort food, sleeping, and watching TV to help deal with the pain.  While some people escape their reality through drugs and alcohol, for me it is through food and television.

Despite these challenges, I feel like I'm in the best place I could be given the circumstances.  I have a wonderful group of friends here that I know I can depend on for anything. My students are wonderful and easygoing, and if I'm not feeling well we either cancel the class or reschedule it.  With my health insurance I've been able to get affordable treatment with antidepressants and therapy to work through these challenges.  All in all I find the expat community here is so wonderful; we have the common bond of deciding to leave our home countries in search for something else, and we understand the struggles that we go through and appreciate living a lifestyle outside of the mainstream.

Getting that out of the way, here are the highlights month by month since my last update.

February 

I made my last payment for my student loans from getting my Masters degree.  It is such a good feeling being debt free and finally being able to start focusing on saving for my future.  I managed to get $42,000 in loans paid off in 10 years, and it's a sense of accomplishment that not many understand unless you're in the same position.

Regarding travelling, I got Global Entry and TSA Precheck.  This allows me to bypass the long security lines at airports in the United States, and I can also go through an expedited line when entering the United States at most airports.  It's good for 5 years, and it will certainly take out one of the hassles of travel.

I also took a vacation to Universal Studios in Orlando with my dad.  He and my mom have been my rock and support no matter what.  He worked two full time jobs when I was growing up to make ends meet, and his hard work ethic is something that has always been with me because of him.  I'm finally in a position that I can start giving back to him, so for his birthday I bought his ticket to Universal Studios.  I hadn't been there in almost 20 years, so it was a great experience.  I think my favorite part was exploring the Springfield area of the park complete with Krusty Burger and Moe's Tavern.  My dad enjoyed the Harry Potter area, and it was cool seeing kids getting so excited about something and using their magic wands to activate things in the park.  It turns out a friend from high school was there with her husband and daughter, and we were able to catch up for a bit.

A Krusty Burger with fries

March

March is always a month of new beginnings in Chile.  Summer is coming to an end, and kids go back to school.  People return from their vacation and begin to settle into their work routine again.

For me, the new beginning meant taking a critical look at my living space.  Since I've lived in the same apartment for 5 years now, it has been easy to just keep things the way they have been.  I'd been holding onto things I'm not really using more out of laziness than anything else, but I decided it was time for a change.

I got rid of a dresser that I was only half using as well as my bulky propane heater in favor of an energy efficient tower heater.  I also upgraded my old bed that I had had for 5 years for a new one that opens up and has storage inside, which has been great for organizing my living space. 

Last but not least, I got a desk and a computer chair!  It's so nice to have a space to sit to do work (that isn't my kitchen table) as well as put my office materials away and keep them organized.

April

There were some really strong rainstorms, some meetings with friends to play Apples to Apples and Setters of Catan, and a weekend trip to Viña to have a change of scenery.

Little did I know what would transpire during that weekend in Viña.

At breakfast on that Saturday morning I got to talking to two guys from Liverpool.  They told me that they were going to Santiago the next day for the day, and it turns out they were going to the Coldplay concert.  After a bit of conversation, one of them told me that they had an extra ticket since his girlfriend was pregnant and unable to fly, and he offered it to me!  

So Sunday I helped the two of them get a bus ticket back to Santiago with me, and they left their bags at my place while they hiked up Cerro San Cristobal.  Once they got back we got some Peruvian food and then walked to the concert.  It was at the National Stadium, just about 4 blocks from my apartment.

The concert was really cool.  The special effects and visuals were all really well thought out and nicely planned.  At one point of the concert, they moved to a mini stage about 20 feet away from where we were standing.  It was awesome to get to see them up close.

We had to leave before the concert was over, because James and Paul were then catching an overnight bus to Pucón that same night.  We said our goodbyes and have been connected on Facebook ever since, and it will just be a matter of time before we get to meet up again.

May

A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer in May.  Although I never met him, I knew that he was a great person from what Kari told me about him.  This left me thinking about life and to be grateful for each and every day that I have.

I also came to the realization that some activities that I had been involved in weren't contributing to my happiness.  After giving them a sincere effort I felt like I had to at least take a break for a while and focus on me.

June 

The weather started getting colder as winter made its appearance, and I became a member of a business networking alliance in Santiago.  We started meeting once a month with the same group of people with the goal of helping each other grow and expand our businesses.  It is unique in that there is only one person from any given sector, and I have met some very interesting people.

Some of my friends from back in Jersey were in Peru, and we were able to meet up in Lima.  It was so great connecting with people from back home and getting to show them around a bit.  Even though we only got to spend an afternoon together, it was so refreshing to get to spend time with other people that enjoy traveling as much as I do.  I also enjoyed the food as well as the cat park.

July

July is the middle of winter in Chile, but it really wasn't that cold.  Some of my students were on vacation, which gave me more free time than I usually have.  I told myself that I was going to use that time to be productive and get my living space organized, but I wasn't really too successful.

The IATEFL Conference took place in Santiago, and it was great.  There were some really amazing presenters, and they always get me thinking about my teaching.  I caught up with other teachers I hadn't seen since last year in Concepción, and I also gave a presentation.  While I enjoy the conference each year, this year I found myself only being able to take in so much information before feeling worn out and overwhelmed.

At the end of July I made a weekend trip down to Concepción to catch up with some friends.  While I didn't get to see everyone I had hoped to, it was nice getting out of Santiago and doing something different.

August

This month I started teaching classes via Skype.  One of my students wanted to continue classes after leaving Santiago and moving to London, and it was flattering that she wanted to continue specifically with me.  Teaching online classes is quite different than teaching in person, but I'm adjusting to the change.

My health has suffered a bit with the smog, and I had a nasty cough and sore throat for a little over a week.  I've also been dealing with some back pain, but luckily I've found a great chiropractor that speaks English.

There was a nice event in Ñuñoa last weekend.  They organized a food truck event in Plaza Ñuñoa, and it was great.  There were food trucks with burgers and fries, kebabs, schwarmas, baked goods, crepes, and more.  There was music playing, face painting, and a light, festive atmosphere.  The weather was unseasonably warm the day I went, and I had a good time catching up with friends.

I've made strides in choosing my friendships carefully, and I'm getting better of listening to my intuition.  I've started mapping out my professional and personal goals for the next few years, and it has helped me to see the steps I need to take to reach them.  I have my work cut out for me, but I'm feeling positive about what the rest of this year holds.