My laptop is open, and here I am typing this blog post. I see 3:17 AM staring at me in the face, and I am pretty exhausted now. But I do this to myself on purpose so I can sleep on the 6 hour plane ride to Los Angeles and prevent myself from letting the 3 hour time difference affect me too much. (My flight leaves from Philadelphia at 7:35 AM)
I've been putting off updating becuase I haven't been feeling particularly inspired. I've been putting this pressure on myself to come up with amazing stories that will make people want to keep on reading, but unfortunately there hasn't been too much exciting happening lately. I figure that updating with less than exciting thoughts is better than not updating at all.
The lack of work and lack of meaningful things to do was challenging for me the past few weeks, but I've made it through it. This last night here was spent over a friend's house playing Magic and video games and included all types of random jokes and of course ordering a pizza for a late night dinner. Even though it was nothing special it was a really great night. Thinking back to about a year ago, I realize that I spent my last night in New Jersey with those same exact friends before my flight out of New York during the snowstorm.
I also got to visit some friends near Harrisburg last weekend, and it was a really nice weekend just getting away from home. Just spending time together watching TV, sharing a meal, and reconnecting with others that also have an interest in traveling and other cultures was a refreshing experience.
I'm realizing I spent too much time focusing on what wasn't going right (not being able to find a job, letting small things frustrate me), but this night helped me refocus on the good friends that I do have and to make the most of my last two weeks. Plus I'm going to Los Angeles and will get to see friends, eat good food, and visit familiar places. I already know that being there will feel like a time warp for me, as I cannot fathom that I lived in Los Angeles for 7 years and did not take better advantage of all of the cultural opportunities there. At the same time, I was also without a car for 5 of those 7 years.
I know that time is going to fly by once I am back from California next week. I'll have one week to pack, celebrate the family birthdays, go to a Linkin Park concert, and say my goodbyes to family and friends for an indefinite period of time. And no, I don't think the fact that I have a one way ticket back has hit me yet.