A long overdue update

I've had a long absence from my blog.

It would be easy to make up excuses or avoid the elephant in the room of what has been happening, but I don't think that's the best thing to do.

I've been struggling with depression.

Talking about it isn't easy, as it's a personal struggle.  Opening up to people is hard for me and leaves me vulnerable and open to judgement and criticism from others. 

Before you read any further, form any opinions about me, or have a a desire to offer any advice, I'm going to provide a list of statements that aren't helpful:

1. "You just have to snap out of it." (usually said with a tone of condescension)

2. "It's all in your head." (How is that supposed to make a person feel better?)

3. "Well, my situation was worse........" (One upping doesn't make a person dealing with a rough time feel any better.)

4. "You should...." (I didn't ask for advice.  I'm trying to open up and would really appreciate you listening and acknowledging my reality.)

A few days ago, I came across a post on Facebook that really resonated with me.  It's the story of a woman who wanted to prepare her daughter for middle school.

“I gave her a tube of toothpaste and asked her to squirt it out onto a plate. When she finished, I calmly asked her to put all the toothpaste back in the tube,” Gardner explains. Of course, her daughter looked at her like it was an impossible task, because it is. Her daughter began to say things like But I can’t! and It won’t be like before!

That’s when mom dropped some serious knowledge, with some words her daughter will probably never forget:

“You will remember this plate of toothpaste for the rest of your life. Your words have the power of life or death. As you go into middle school, you are about to see just how much weight your words carry. You are going to have the opportunity to use your words to hurt, demean, slander and wound others. You are also going to have the opportunity to use your words to heal, encourage, inspire and love others. You will occasionally make the wrong choice; I can think of three times this week I have used my own words carelessly and caused harm. Just like this toothpaste, once the words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back.”

Some of the things I've heard from people close to me in the past year have really affected me.  Hurtful comments and hard to stomach truths have shattered my self esteem and self worth into a million little pieces, and I've been working to pick up them up one by one and glue them back together again.  I had fallen into a pattern of eating comfort food, sleeping, and watching TV to help deal with the pain.  While some people escape their reality through drugs and alcohol, for me it is through food and television.

Despite these challenges, I feel like I'm in the best place I could be given the circumstances.  I have a wonderful group of friends here that I know I can depend on for anything. My students are wonderful and easygoing, and if I'm not feeling well we either cancel the class or reschedule it.  With my health insurance I've been able to get affordable treatment with antidepressants and therapy to work through these challenges.  All in all I find the expat community here is so wonderful; we have the common bond of deciding to leave our home countries in search for something else, and we understand the struggles that we go through and appreciate living a lifestyle outside of the mainstream.

Getting that out of the way, here are the highlights month by month since my last update.

February 

I made my last payment for my student loans from getting my Masters degree.  It is such a good feeling being debt free and finally being able to start focusing on saving for my future.  I managed to get $42,000 in loans paid off in 10 years, and it's a sense of accomplishment that not many understand unless you're in the same position.

Regarding travelling, I got Global Entry and TSA Precheck.  This allows me to bypass the long security lines at airports in the United States, and I can also go through an expedited line when entering the United States at most airports.  It's good for 5 years, and it will certainly take out one of the hassles of travel.

I also took a vacation to Universal Studios in Orlando with my dad.  He and my mom have been my rock and support no matter what.  He worked two full time jobs when I was growing up to make ends meet, and his hard work ethic is something that has always been with me because of him.  I'm finally in a position that I can start giving back to him, so for his birthday I bought his ticket to Universal Studios.  I hadn't been there in almost 20 years, so it was a great experience.  I think my favorite part was exploring the Springfield area of the park complete with Krusty Burger and Moe's Tavern.  My dad enjoyed the Harry Potter area, and it was cool seeing kids getting so excited about something and using their magic wands to activate things in the park.  It turns out a friend from high school was there with her husband and daughter, and we were able to catch up for a bit.

A Krusty Burger with fries

March

March is always a month of new beginnings in Chile.  Summer is coming to an end, and kids go back to school.  People return from their vacation and begin to settle into their work routine again.

For me, the new beginning meant taking a critical look at my living space.  Since I've lived in the same apartment for 5 years now, it has been easy to just keep things the way they have been.  I'd been holding onto things I'm not really using more out of laziness than anything else, but I decided it was time for a change.

I got rid of a dresser that I was only half using as well as my bulky propane heater in favor of an energy efficient tower heater.  I also upgraded my old bed that I had had for 5 years for a new one that opens up and has storage inside, which has been great for organizing my living space. 

Last but not least, I got a desk and a computer chair!  It's so nice to have a space to sit to do work (that isn't my kitchen table) as well as put my office materials away and keep them organized.

April

There were some really strong rainstorms, some meetings with friends to play Apples to Apples and Setters of Catan, and a weekend trip to Viña to have a change of scenery.

Little did I know what would transpire during that weekend in Viña.

At breakfast on that Saturday morning I got to talking to two guys from Liverpool.  They told me that they were going to Santiago the next day for the day, and it turns out they were going to the Coldplay concert.  After a bit of conversation, one of them told me that they had an extra ticket since his girlfriend was pregnant and unable to fly, and he offered it to me!  

So Sunday I helped the two of them get a bus ticket back to Santiago with me, and they left their bags at my place while they hiked up Cerro San Cristobal.  Once they got back we got some Peruvian food and then walked to the concert.  It was at the National Stadium, just about 4 blocks from my apartment.

The concert was really cool.  The special effects and visuals were all really well thought out and nicely planned.  At one point of the concert, they moved to a mini stage about 20 feet away from where we were standing.  It was awesome to get to see them up close.

We had to leave before the concert was over, because James and Paul were then catching an overnight bus to Pucón that same night.  We said our goodbyes and have been connected on Facebook ever since, and it will just be a matter of time before we get to meet up again.

May

A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer in May.  Although I never met him, I knew that he was a great person from what Kari told me about him.  This left me thinking about life and to be grateful for each and every day that I have.

I also came to the realization that some activities that I had been involved in weren't contributing to my happiness.  After giving them a sincere effort I felt like I had to at least take a break for a while and focus on me.

June 

The weather started getting colder as winter made its appearance, and I became a member of a business networking alliance in Santiago.  We started meeting once a month with the same group of people with the goal of helping each other grow and expand our businesses.  It is unique in that there is only one person from any given sector, and I have met some very interesting people.

Some of my friends from back in Jersey were in Peru, and we were able to meet up in Lima.  It was so great connecting with people from back home and getting to show them around a bit.  Even though we only got to spend an afternoon together, it was so refreshing to get to spend time with other people that enjoy traveling as much as I do.  I also enjoyed the food as well as the cat park.

July

July is the middle of winter in Chile, but it really wasn't that cold.  Some of my students were on vacation, which gave me more free time than I usually have.  I told myself that I was going to use that time to be productive and get my living space organized, but I wasn't really too successful.

The IATEFL Conference took place in Santiago, and it was great.  There were some really amazing presenters, and they always get me thinking about my teaching.  I caught up with other teachers I hadn't seen since last year in Concepción, and I also gave a presentation.  While I enjoy the conference each year, this year I found myself only being able to take in so much information before feeling worn out and overwhelmed.

At the end of July I made a weekend trip down to Concepción to catch up with some friends.  While I didn't get to see everyone I had hoped to, it was nice getting out of Santiago and doing something different.

August

This month I started teaching classes via Skype.  One of my students wanted to continue classes after leaving Santiago and moving to London, and it was flattering that she wanted to continue specifically with me.  Teaching online classes is quite different than teaching in person, but I'm adjusting to the change.

My health has suffered a bit with the smog, and I had a nasty cough and sore throat for a little over a week.  I've also been dealing with some back pain, but luckily I've found a great chiropractor that speaks English.

There was a nice event in Ñuñoa last weekend.  They organized a food truck event in Plaza Ñuñoa, and it was great.  There were food trucks with burgers and fries, kebabs, schwarmas, baked goods, crepes, and more.  There was music playing, face painting, and a light, festive atmosphere.  The weather was unseasonably warm the day I went, and I had a good time catching up with friends.

I've made strides in choosing my friendships carefully, and I'm getting better of listening to my intuition.  I've started mapping out my professional and personal goals for the next few years, and it has helped me to see the steps I need to take to reach them.  I have my work cut out for me, but I'm feeling positive about what the rest of this year holds.

Christmas, Adventures in Cat Sitting, and New Years

Happy 2016 everyone!!!

The weather was hot down in Chile for Christmas and New Years.  This year I decided I wanted to spend Christmas at the beach, so I went to Viña del Mar.  I arrived on the 23rd in the late afternoon and stayed at my usual hostel.  It was relaxing enjoying nice meals at restaurants, talking with other travelers over breakfast at the hostel, and seeing the people who work there again.  

The best part, however, was Christmas Eve dinner.  The hostel organized a dinner since everything is closed on the night of Christmas Eve.  There was steak, chicken, salmon, salad, dessert, and drinks.  There were people from Argentina, Brazil, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, and Lithuania.  Having a sense of community and meeting such an interesting group of people was a really nice way to spend the night.

Some restaurants were closed on Christmas, and when dinnertime rolled around I was getting hungry.  I found out that Papa John's was open, and I got to introduce one of the travelers to the wonder that is Papa John's.  We had an interesting conversation about our backgrounds, traveling, and life around different parts of the world.

Upon my return to Santiago on the 26th, I was given a unique opportunity.  Some of my friends were going away on vacation, and they asked me to take care of their cats.  I was so excited leading up to it and really enjoyed it.  They asked me to sleep over each night, and they had food in the fridge and showed me how to use their Netflix account.  I enjoyed watching Friends, making sandwiches, and playing with Tommy and Tigresa.  

So what are the cats like? They are both a lot of fun.  Tommy doesn't drink water from a bowl like normal cats.  Instead he drinks from the tap.  Tigresa eventually decided she wanted to be like her older brother, but when she tried to copy Tommy when he was drinking from the tap he lashed out at her.  She then went into the bathtub and was meowing at me to turn on the faucet for her to drink from that faucet.  I could only imagine what would have happened, so I didn't.  Tommy also likes jumping into a red cooler and being taken around the house like he's in a plane, so that became a daily activity.  Besides drinking from the tap and the cooler plane rides, Tommy was pretty laid back most of the time and just did his own thing.

Tigresa has a lot more energy.  She played with my sandals, meowed to be petted, and enjoyed playing with a cardboard box as well as a mouse on a string.  When I worked on my laptop while watching Friends she mostly left me alone, but the last night she started sitting down on my teaching materials, meowing at me insistently, and trying to walk on my laptop while I worked.  I think she was getting comfortable with me.  It didn't bother me at all; she just wanted attention and the work that I was doing wasn't pressing.

While I enjoyed my time in Viña and cat sitting, I was glad to get back to my apartment.  I hadn't slept in my own bed in a week, and I needed to do some cleaning and get food in.  I decided to stay in for New Years and enjoy some video games and reflecting over the past year.

It was a year with challenges, changes, and accomplishments.  Leaving a job, paying off one of my big student loans, becoming more assertive in my professional and personal life, and realizing that I am capable of being my own boss were some of the memorable events of 2015.  My hard work and persistence has paid off, and I've had to ignore the naysayers that told me that I should move back to the States.  But with time those naysayers are becoming fewer and fewer.  Having been able to live in another country for over 5 years is an accomplishment that I sometimes forget about.  It's easy for me to write off things that I do well and compare myself to others, or I look at areas of my life that aren't the way I want them and focus on what is missing or what I should be doing better.

2016 is going to be a year of further development.  It's going to be a year of developing my communication and leadership skills via Toastmasters, creating a savings/investment plan, and visiting friends that I haven't seen in a while.  Life might throw me some curveballs this year, but I have learned that I am stronger than I thought and am capable of handling whatever comes my way.

Facebook, Podcasts, and Realizations

Life in Santiago has been pretty routine the past few months, hence the lack of updates.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and this post is going to be quite a bit deeper than my typical posts.

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

What do I love about it?  I love being connected with friends and seeing their good news.  I can't always be there for milestones like engagements, birthdays, weddings, and the birth of their children.  It's obviously not the same as being there, but I love seeing pictures and  the feeling that I still have a connection to them.

I also love the instant communication.  I can have a quick chat with a friend I've been out of touch with.  I can plan an event and update guests virtually and share news and photos.  I can buy and sell things with a wider audience than if I didn't have Facebook, and I can also get advice and recommendations about restaurants and services.  People also post news about protests and happenings, which is handy when I'm traveling around the city.  They have even added a feature to mark yourself safe when a natural disaster happens.  When the earthquake happened in September, I was able to mark myself as safe so that my Facebook friends knew that I was ok.

What do I hate about it?  Well, the way some people choose to use Facebook.

Before I continue, I have to admit that I am far from perfect.  I look back at posts I made 3 and 4 years ago and realize the pointlessness of my previous posts or my desire for attention.

Some people give a play by play of an event that they are at.  Sometimes it includes pictures of every course of their meal or every picture of their vacation updated by the hour.  Don't get me wrong; it's great seeing some photos of a friend's vacation posted after the fact.  I'm happy for people that are having a great time.  It seems, however, that some people just want to show off how great of a life they have.  And Facebook is the perfect platform to do that.

Other people post about how much fun they had at an event or how much they miss a person, but they do it on their timeline.  There's nothing wrong with sharing this information, but is it necessary to do so in a public way to show off your friendship?  Sometimes it continues on with a string of replies back and forth about some type of inside joke or making plans for the next social event.  Maybe it's just me, but I find it annoying and unnecessary.  There's Facebook messenger, email, Whatsapp, and phone calls that can communicate the same thing in a non public way.

Sometimes you find out that you are excluded from an event or that someone has lied to you via Facebook.  Being on the inside of a social event is great, but being on the outside when you thought you were going to be included is a very isolating feeling.  People saying they are sick and can't meet with you but then post publicly to make plans with other people for the same exact time have also left be with a feeling of loneliness and rejection.  You could either be honest about things or at least be more discreet if you're going to lie or exclude a person.

Another thing that really gets to me is political posts.  There's nothing wrong with posting a news story if you're interested in having a civil political debate or that shows a point of view that you hadn't considered before.  Unfortunately I see people that post things with blatant misinformation or that seem to play on people's fears rather than using facts and statistics.  Why would you want to share something like that?  How is it helpful trying to engage people with different political views if you're not willing to have a civil discussion about things?

Then there are posts that are offensive and people that don't even try to understand another point of view.  I don't know about anyone else, but I find Conan O'Brien's "I ate all your Halloween candy" skit that he shows each year a disgrace.  For those that aren't familiar with it, a parent videotapes themselves telling their son or daughter that he/she ate all of their Halloween candy.  The child then throws a tantrum or bursts out crying.  This is intended to be a joke, and parents are encouraged to send in their videos each year to be shown on national TV.

Why in the world do people think that it's acceptable to manipulate a child's feelings in order to get a laugh?  Do people really value being on national TV more than their children's mental health?  This does not seem like a good way to cultivate a bond of trust and happiness between parents and children.  

Last but not least, there are posts that make fun of others.  Inside jokes and poking fun of friends is one thing, but making fun of people you don't know doesn't seem like a very productive or happy thing to do.  Do you really not have anything better to do than make fun of other people?  This also applies to posts that make fun of politicians, usually ones that have differing viewpoints than the person who's posting.

All in all, I have such mixed feelings.  I love being in touch with people, but you can only see so many posts that a single person makes about their amazing life, awesome vacation, or strong political views with no desire to discuss them.  I have found the unfriend and unfollow button very useful, and I'm also trying to spend less time on Facebook.  All in all, I think it hasn't been contributing to my happiness.

Given all that, how do I think Facebook should be used?

In my opinion, Facebook should be about bringing people together, making our lives easier, and helping contribute to happiness.  How can this be done?  

1. Share photos and personal news that is relevant and interesting.  If it's meant to incite jealousy or show off, don't post it.
2. Share helpful and interesting news.  Is there a road closure in your area?  Is there new research about a cure for cancer?  Did you find a new shop that might interest a friend?  Are there some kitchen hacks that will make cooking easier?  If so, share!
3. Help brighten people's day.  Share a funny story, joke, or video.  My personal favorite is the Suprised Kitty video that went viral on Youtube.  I have quite a few friends that are cat lovers, so any videos or stories that I find relevant I share with them.
4. Make fun of yourself.  A friend of mine jokingly told me that he hated me because of the travelling I had done.  A few weeks later I went to the ER with a badly sprained ankle.  I ended up wearing a boot for 2 weeks.  I posted a picture of my leg on his timeline with the comment, "So do you hate me now?"  It's something that he and I will always remember, and it was a good way to help diffuse his "hatred".
5. Find groups of people that share a common interest with you, and connect with them.  Not just through a screen, but by actually going out and meeting people in person.  I've made some great friends this way, and the in person connection is a way to help build community.

Will I ever give up Facebook?  I doubt it.  I do know one thing though.  Facebook has helped me to become more humble.  I share what is necessary.  I don't (or at least try not to) flaunt my success or staunchly post about my political views unless I'm willing to entertain a civil discussion about it.  I don't need to make a post about how blessed I am at Thanksgiving, and I don't need to change my profile picture to the colors of a country's flag in order to support them.  I do what I can to help others (even if I don't post an update or a video of it on my timeline), and I work to maintain my connections to people while connecting with others that will bring happiness into my life.

Another thing that technology has brought us is podcasts.  For those that aren't familiar with them, it is like a radio show that is on the internet that you can listen to at any time after it is published.  There are podcasts about almost everything in any language.  I've started listening to some that I find really interesting and helpful.

The first one is Nation Public Radio Planet Money.  It's about what's happening in the real world regarding economics, but it is geared towards people that don't have a degree in economics or finance.  They have such interesting stories, and they make for great conversation with people.

Another one is called The Tim Ferriss Show.  He's the author of The Four Hour Workweek and interviews guests that have been successful.  He also shares his habits and routines that help him to be successful.  It's interesting hearing from people about what they do and don't do, and it has opened my eyes to things that I can start doing differently in my life.  I particularly enjoyed the interview with Mike Shinoda from my favorite band, Linkin Park.

I also enjoy listening to Happier, a podcast by Gretchen Rubin.  She's the author of The Happiness Project, and she studies happiness and the development of good habits.  Each week she and her sister tackle an issue in an interesting way.  They share their experiences and ask the audience to share their experiences, and it's so interesting to hear that others go through the same challenges that I do.  They also talk about how other people see the world differently, which really helps to understand other people and how to live harmoniously.  They had a podcast about getting fired, and I wrote to share my experience having gone through it.  It was an incredibly hard time of my life, but a lot of positive came out of it, ultimately convincing me to make the move to Chile.

The last big one is called The Voluntary Life.  It's all about finding freedom and financial freedom.  It includes ideas about investing, saving money, living a minimalist lifestyle, and various paths to financial freedom.   This has been particularly helpful for me.

Over this year I have doubted my lifestyle of living in Santiago, having a cheap one bedroom apartment, and being my own boss.  I can make enough money to live, pay off my student loans, and put money into savings.  I don't have (and don't want) a car, because it's not necessary.  I'd like a larger apartment, but it's also not necessary.  I don't really buy many material possessions, but I do enjoy spending my money to eat out from time to time and travel.  People tell me I'm throwing money away by renting and they suggest I move back to the States and "get a real job".  Apparently there's something wrong with my lifestyle if I get such strong objections from people about it.  Or so I thought.

After listening to The Voluntary Life, I came to realize there's nothing wrong with my lifestyle.  I've chosen a lifestyle that doesn't include consumerism (with the exception of eating out and some things I enjoy like video games) and the accumulation of material goods.  I have chosen to be my own boss and manage my free time and workload.  I value experiences and travel, and that is how I choose to spend my money for the most part.  By living below my means and not buying a larger apartment or house that I would then have to spend a lot of money on to furnish and maintain, I prefer to save my money and use public transportation.  When I'm back in the States, I can rent a car if necessary.  I don't need to stay in fancy hotels when I travel; hostels or a room via couchsurfers work just fine.  When others voice their objections to my lifestyle I no longer have to justify it; their comments are a reflection of their own insecurities regarding their lifestyle choices.

I've become more cognizant of how I spend money as well as the possessions that I have.  I have started downsizing my selling or giving away things I'm no longer using, and it's a good feeling.  I've also started going through the vast amounts of paper that I have any getting rid of anything I don't need.  I've done the same with my email inbox.  I now have everything organized by category, have unsubscribed myself to lists, and deal with emails within 48 hours of receiving them.

I have 2 major goals for next year:

1. Be as paperless as possible.
There's an app called Evernote which allows you to take pictures of business cards, receipts, contracts, and other important documents that are then stored securely.  I already use Dropbox for my teaching materials, but being able to get rid of more paper will be a really good feeling.

2. Pay off my last student loan and set up an investment plan.
I got my unsubsidized loan paid off earlier this year, and it was a great feeling.  I have one more to pay off, and then from there I can start focusing on investing for my future.  I know I'm late to the game compared to most people, and I've endured harsh criticism for it.  While enduring that criticism, however, I've been busy crafting a lifestyle that works for me and that allows me to save a significant portion of my income each month.

I hope everyone is staying warm or cool (depending on where you're reading this from and what the weather is like there), and I hope you have a wonderful holiday and end of the year!

Fiestas Patrias, Personal and Professional Growth, and When Clowns Attack

As I type this, I find it hard to believe how quickly the year is going by.

The weather has been unseasonably cold, and we have been getting rain beyond when the rainy season is supposed to be.  I've had a few days when I've been able to see my breath on my way to work in the morning.  Hopefully spring will be on its way soon.

Fiestas patrias this year was pretty low key.  I met with a friend and one of his friends, and we made food in his apartment.  It was nice having a small gathering, and they showed me how easy it is to make hummus.

The following day I went to a fonda with some friends.  We went to the one at Parque Padre Hurtado.  It was crowded and had the typical meat, bread, and terremotos along with various displays about Chile's naval and air force.  There were games for kids, and they had bumper balls!

Elana and I decided to get in touch with our inner child.  Inside the ball I woke up a sweat, and it wore me out even though I was only inside for about 5 minutes.  Being heavier worked to my advantage, as I was able to knock people over easily and was only knocked over once.  I tried to be gentle with the little kids, but even when I tried to bump them lightly they went flying (or rolling I should say).  A friend took a video of the experience, but apparently the file is too big to post on here. You can see it on Youtube by clicking here. 

One of the benefits of being my own boss is that I have control over my schedule and free time.  I haven't been very good about making good use of my free time, and for me it's easy to fall into the pattern of watching TV and spending too much time on Facebook.  I feel like I haven't been nurturing my mind to contribute to my personal and professional growth, but I've started making progress in a few ways.

First of all, I found a free online course offered by the British Council about taking the IELTS.  For those non-English teachers, the IELTS is an international tests that non-native speakers of English take in order to study or live in the UK or Australia.  I've been participating in the course for the past 4 weeks.  The videos and links that they provide are very useful, and it's interesting seeing other people's comments regarding the test.  On the website I've also found a few other online courses that I'm considering taking in November.

I'm also meditating on an almost daily basis.  It leaves me feeling more relaxed and calm, and I'm more prepared to tackle what I need to do any given day while feeling less anxious.

In addition, I've found a few podcasts that I enjoy listening to.  The first one is The Happier Podcast with Gretchen Rubin.  It's really interesting hearing about a different topic each week and what people do in other to develop habits that make them happier and healthier.  Another one is Freakonomics.  It was suggested by a friend, and it looks at interesting economic concepts related to current events.  The 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss is also very interesting.  He's always trying something new, and it's interesting to see what he's done in his life to become so successful and happy.  

Taking in all this new knowledge and information is great, but at the same time it leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed.  There are suggestions of new habits to try, new books to read, and articles that are worth checking out.  There are also a lot of interesting people here in Santiago that I could meet with in order to network and develop personally and professionally.  But where do I start?  Sometimes I feel a bit paralyzed and find it hard to start at all, but I'm trying to be patient with myself.  Between that and meditating I'm taking small steps to try new things and become the best version of myself personally and professionally.

Living in Santiago wouldn't be complete with some type of completely random event happening every once in a while.  So what happened this time?

I was attacked by a clown.

Yes, you read that right.  So, how did it all happen?

I was riding the bus home from my morning class, and a man dressed up as a clown got on the bus.  He had on a wig, a clown costume, and his face was painted white.  This isn't uncommon in Santiago, as entertainers in the form of instrumentalists, singers, and clowns will get on the bus and provide some entertainment.  In exchange they then ask for a small donation and walk around the bus accepting what is offered and thanking the passengers.  The clowns usually put on some type of comedy show.  If they are in pairs, they provide some quick-witted banter back and forth which usually gets anyone listening laughing.  If they are alone, they might make jokes or tease people.  They tend to try to get people that aren't paying attention to them to laugh or respond.

This clown was different, however.  He was seated on the other side of the aisle and spoke to me, and I ignored him and continued checking my emails on my phone.  Then he actually kicked my foot lightly and spoke to me again, but I continued to ignore him.  I thought it was strange that he wasn't trying to entertain people, but at that time I didn't think much of it.

Eventually he changed his seat to sit behind me, and then he moved back to his original seat.  A woman sat down next to me when we got to the next stop.  About a minute later, the clown started speaking loudly and stood up.  The woman fled from her seat, and he came closer to me.  He then stuck me on the head, and my glasses flew to the ground.

He was screaming at me, and I realized that he had been asking for money the entire time.  I'm not normally one to ignore someone that asks for help, but there was something strange about him from the beginning.  I shielded myself with my bookbag for about another minute while I called out for someone to help me.  We came to a bus stop, and he got off the bus.  As we were at the bus stop, he banged on the glass from the outside and continued to yell at me.

My hands were shaking, and I managed to pick up my glasses off the ground.  Luckily they weren't damaged.  A man came over to me and asked if I was ok.  I told him that I was fine, just a bit shook up.

I was fortunate that it hadn't been any worse.  The Chileans that I've spoken to say that it was a very strange situation and that they had never experienced nor heard of anything like it before.  I feel like I stood out because of my lighter skin, and he probably thought I was rich and would give him money.  The incident served as a reminder that I need to keep my guard up, even when I'm out and about during the day.

And now you can add me to the group of people that has a slight fear of clowns.

In the Clear

As you've all probably heard by now, there was an earthquake in Chile.  Don't worry, I'm ok.

The epicenter was north of Santiago, near La Serena.  It was an 8.2, and apparently it was really strong.  

So, why do I say apparently?  Well, I didn't feel it!

I was on the bus on my way home from work.  At about 8:00 I got off the bus, and when I walked into my apartment building I saw a lot of people outside.  I asked what was happening, and they told me.  

While I waited outside, I started to contact friends in Santiago and family at home.  5 years ago I needed to communicate through TeachingChile in order to get through to my family, and I had to wait until the next day to get to an internet cafe to be able to call home.  This time I was able to email people directly and communicate via Whatsapp.  What a difference 5 years and having a smartphone makes.

After about 15 minutes, I decided to go up and check on my apartment.  The doormen told me that the elevators were working, so I decided to take it up rather than walking up 20 flights of stairs.

Another person joined me in the elevator, and we chatted until he got off at the 13th floor.  

After the doors closed, it seemed like an eternity to get to the 20th floor.  Why was that?

Well, things started shaking again.

I felt it, and I was able to see thinks shaking through the cracks.

Luckily, the elevator still made it up to the 20th floor and opened.  I went right to the doorway of the stairs and stood there.  

While I was there, the shaking continued.  I heard one of my neighbors calling out in despair.  Eventually he went to his doorway, and I talked with him and told him it was going to be ok.  He has family that lives along the coast, and he wasn't able to talk to them.  I motioned for him to come over to me, and I gave him a hug and told him it was going to be ok.  I told him we'd charge my cell phone once the shaking stopped and we'd get in contact with them.

A few moments later he went back inside, and the shaking stopped.  I checked my apartment, and only one thing was knocked out of place.  I moved my TV down to the ground and secured it between the TV rack and coffee table, and then I proceeded to pack an emergency bag.

One of my friends invited me over, so after turning off the water and taking my bag I went right back out the door.  (But this time I took the stairs down.)  I arrived about 20 minutes later.

We talked about our experiences with the earthquake and watched the live coverage while we had our cell phones out.  We spent the time updating Facebook and messaging people to see how everyone was doing.  There were some more aftershocks, and each time we gauged if we should stay where we were or go outside.  Luckily we were able to stay inside for all of them.

They set up an air mattress for me, and I went to sleep around 12:30.  It was difficult to sleep given the continued aftershocks, and one was so strong that we thought we´d have to go out.

I set my alarm for 6, and after thanking my friends for having me over I headed out.  After a taxi ride and quick breakfast and shower, I was back out the door for my only class of the day at 8 AM.  I had communicated with the student to confirm the class, and seeing that we were both fine we still met.

We spent about half the class discussing the earthquake.  When I returned home, I took a look around the city.  Everything looked pretty normal, and I doubt that there was any major damage in Santiago.

I have enough food in, but just to be on the safe side I decided to give the supermarket a try.  
In 2010 when I went it was a madhouse, so I was prepared to wait in long lines and to be patient.  The smaller grocery store Unimarc was almost empty and fully stocked.  I picked up some essentials and then went home for some much needed rest.

I have my emergency bag packed and ready by the door in case I need it, but I think the worst has come and gone.  Despite my good fortune, there are coastal areas that have been ravaged just a few days before the country's independence day holiday.  If you have the means, there are organizations to donate to in order to help people that are now homeless or without running water or electricity.

I'll update with more details in case anything else happens.

One more test to show how strong we are.

Weekend Travels, A Potluck Dinner, Some Despedidas, and the End of Winter

With the exception of two weekend trips, things have been pretty uneventful lately.

At the end of July there was the IATEFL conference in Concepción.  I took the bus down on Friday morning and arrived that night.  I stayed with the same friend that I stayed with for the wedding back in 2013, and it was great catching up.  We went out to a traditional restaurant for dinner on Friday night, which means seafood, fish, and more seafood.  I ordered chicken a lo pobre.  (I'm already fishy enough).

The conference started bright and early on Saturday morning, and I went around to some workshops with friends.  I also saw one of my former colleagues from Universidad de Talca as well as some amazing teachers from previous conferences.  I really enjoyed the professional collaboration and seeing what is happening with English teaching around Chile.  My workshop went well, and I had about 30 people attend.  The conference was supposed to go til about 8 at night, but by 7 I was worn out and headed out.

That night I went out for dinner and karaoke with friends, and I had a great time.  We spoke in Spanish, and I was able to understand and participate in 90% of the conversation.  It was a really satisfying feeling, and it helped me realize how much my Spanish has improved compared to when I arrived in 2010.

On Sunday we slept in and then hit up Papa John's for lunch.  This was my first time eating it outside of Santiago, and it was a nice lunch to have before getting back on the bus to return to el gran capital.  

After having paid off my big student loan and managing to establish stability working independently, I decided that I had earned a weekend trip to the beach.  I cancelled my Saturday morning class and moved my Sunday morning class to the evening, and I made my way to Viña del Mar on Friday afternoon.

I stayed at the same hostel that I stayed at in December of last year, and it was really nice.  It's quiet and in a safe and central location, and there were some really interesting people there. I shared a room with a guy from Germany that had just arrived to spend a semester in Viña, and there were 2 women from Germany studying in Santiago.  It was cool to talk about their experiences and impressions of Chile,and we had a little German breakfast corner which allowed me to practice my German.  At one point the guy turned to me and asked if I had any idea of how loud I snore, and we all got a good laugh out of it.  The hostel owner is also a great guy, and he remembered me from my last visit.

Besides the socializing, I enjoyed some nice meals, journaling and working at coffee shops, and just general exploring of the area.  The air is cleaner there, and it´s much calmer than Santiago.  While I love my work, working 7 days a week starts to wear on you after a while.  Going to Viña was such a nice change from the hustle and bustle of the city, and I'm glad I got away for a bit.

Anyone that knows me well or that reads my blog regularly knows that I enjoy bringing people together, and so I hosted a potluck dinner a few weeks ago.  I explained the concept to my Chilean friends, and some of them seemed puzzled that it wouldn't be ok to just bring potato chips.  Others thought it was strange that they would make some food that they liked but then have to share it for other people, and some thought that they had to prepare food for 15 people.  Explaining it seemed a bit strange to me since Chilean culture values the community over the individual, but in the end it was a success.  

About 12 people made it, and there was a mix of chicken, mac and cheese, Iranian food, cole slaw, beef stronganof, nutella crepes, leche asada, apple crumble, and a few other things that I'm forgetting at the moment.  It was an interesting mix of people, and I'm thinking of making it an annual event to bring people together.

One of the great things about the expat life is meeting really interesting people.  One of the challenges is then knowing that those people may one day return to their country of origin or move on to another place.  This is the case with a few of my friends.   Rudolf is returning to the Netherlands with his Chilean girlfriend, and Martin is moving to Germany with his Chilean girlfriend.  Because of other social engagements and travel plans I wasn't able to attend their official despedidas (farewell celebrations), but I still made a point to meet up with them one last time.  Them moving away makes me realize how much I value their friendships, and I'm hoping to stay in contact and eventually visit them on my next trip to Europe.

Last but not least, winter is coming to an end.  The weather has been much warmer than normal, and talking with friends we are all surprised that June was pretty cold but that July and August were quite mild.  There has also been very little rain in comparison to previous years, which unfortunately doesn't help the pollution and air quality.

September is around the corner, and soon everyone will be in a festive mood for the upcoming 18 holiday.  There will be empanadas, wine, pisco, fondas, and lots of cueca.  It will be a nice way to celebrate the start of spring.

A Long Overdue Update

I'm back to the blogging world!

After an absence of almost 3 months, I'm updating my blog.

So, what happened to me?  

Well, a few things.  

First off, I decided to focus on some personal and professional development.  This has meant more reading, listening to podcasts, journaling, and connecting with other English teachers.

At the end of each day I felt mentally exhausted, and so I preferred to spend time watching TV or doing some other mindless activity on my own.  Such an attitude doesn't lend itself well to keeping a blog updated regularly, unfortunately.

During this time, I have come to some realizations.

I've been reading a book about being introverted, and it has been really interesting.  Not only do introverts (like me) have different preferences about how they spend their time, but they also think differently.  They process information differently, and even their physiological makeup is different.  These differences account for differences in energy levels, communication styles, and a myriad of other things.  

The book has helped me realize that I'm not a strange or bad person if I want to spend a quiet weekend mostly to myself.  It's not strange that if I'm out at a social event that I feel tired after 2 or 3 hours and am ready to go home.  

Another realization is that one of the most important relationships you can have is with yourself.  I think that being able to spend time by yourself, find activities that interest and nourish you as a person, and not need to depend on others for happiness is an important accomplishment to achieve in life.  

The third (and perhaps most important) realization is the reminder that I got from a podcast that a person's happiness largely depends on the connections that a person develops with others.  For some people it is very easy to withdraw from social situations and keep to yourself, but it's not always the healthiest thing to do.  During this time, I have made a conscious effort to connect with my friends and spend time together, and they have also made an effort to be sure that I get out and stay social.

So, what else has happened over this time period?

Some very positive things!

1. I paid off one of my student loans.

Anyone that knows me personally has probably heard me talk about the loans that I took out to attend graduate school, and over the years I have felt frustrated to be paying back an unsubsidized loan that accrued interest every single day regardless of if I was working or unemployed, healthy or sick.  I decided that I wanted to have this particular loan paid off by the end of the year, and as I made payments I realized that I was closer to paying it off than I had realized.  I made my last payment on July 3rd.

2. Chile won the American Cup.

Chile hosted the American Cup this year, which meant a huge influx of tourists.  It also meant that there was a lot of traffic around my neighborhood before, during, and after each game.  Chile won round after round, and each time the victory was celebrated with honking horns, celebratory chanting, and drunken revelry.  In the final it was Chile versus Argentina, and when Chile won the city exploded in celebration.  The game happened on the 4th of July, and knowing that the game was scheduled to end at about 7 or so I decided to just stay in and recharge my batteries that day.  It was a good decision after hearing about people trying to travel from one part of the city to another after the game finished.

3. I I was selected to give a workshop at the IATEFL Chile conference in Concepción this weekend.

I always enjoy going to conferences and getting to share teaching strategies and ideas, and being selected to present this year is a huge honor.  This will be my first weekend trip outside of Santiago since I returned in February, so I'm really looking forward to it.

4. I've been able to start a gym routine.

I have some new classes located in downtown Santiago, and I have a 2 and a half hour break between some of them.  This allows me enough time to get to the gym, work out for an hour, shower and change, and run a quick errand or two before my next class.  My schedule will allow for me to do this 4 days a week, so my goal is to get to the gym 3 days a week.

To make up for all the text in beginning of the post, here are some pictures of social gatherings/events that have happened over the past 3 months:

At Moe's Tavern

View of the fireworks from my apartment after Chile won the American Cup

A burger at Hard Rock Cafe in Santiago

Vanilla tea and pumpkin pie at a new coffee shop

Meeting up with Cristobal.  We were both exchange students in Germany 15 years ago.

In the polka dot art exhibition with Ellen

A room of changing colors in the polka dot art exhibition

An interesting room in the art exhibition

In the polka dot sticker room.  Everything was covered in stickers.

A dance troupe performs caporiera at an Africa Day celebration

Having fun at a cat cafe

I hope everyone up in the Northern Hemisphere is enjoying the summer!  Until my next update.